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Friday, October 13, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Moving on
D and I have been tossing around the idea of moving for awhile. Our house is just getting to be too small for us. Plus if you ever decide to add to our family we wouldn't have room in our current house. Don't get me wrong our house is really not that small, I think we just have a lot of junk.
D wants to move far away from everything else. Me on the other hand doesn't really want to be that far away. I check online at least once a week to see what kind of listings they have. D would like at least 5 acres. Not a whole lot in our price range for sure.
So we have decided that we will try to find some land and then build our own house. Yikes that is really scary. D is very knowlegeable about the whole house building thing and will be able to do 80% of the work himself. I on the other hand know nothing. Which is okay cause I just get in his way anyways but one of us need to know about the financial side of things. I guess that would be my job.
I have found several parcels of land this week that are very reasonably priced. Some have been too far away but I found one that may work. We shall go look tonight. Wish us well, it is very scary.
D wants to move far away from everything else. Me on the other hand doesn't really want to be that far away. I check online at least once a week to see what kind of listings they have. D would like at least 5 acres. Not a whole lot in our price range for sure.
So we have decided that we will try to find some land and then build our own house. Yikes that is really scary. D is very knowlegeable about the whole house building thing and will be able to do 80% of the work himself. I on the other hand know nothing. Which is okay cause I just get in his way anyways but one of us need to know about the financial side of things. I guess that would be my job.
I have found several parcels of land this week that are very reasonably priced. Some have been too far away but I found one that may work. We shall go look tonight. Wish us well, it is very scary.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Thursday, October 05, 2006
And we're off
Not to the races but to the holiday season. I love the holidays, all of them really. I love all of the excitement that comes with them and the decorating and the magical feelings that come along with the holidays. D does not share my enthusiasm. Oh well I just remind him that its for the kids not him. Mr Ba Humbug.
With Halloween quickly approaching I am thinking more and more about the holidays. We even tried to grow our own pumpkins this year. We got a few of them but we will still have to go out and buy some to carve. OH well it was fun. I have even had my house decorated for the past three weeks. E is going to be a cowgirl, I have found her almost everything for her costume. D and I will actually be going to a party this year so I need to come up with costumes for us. C says he is too big to dress up and trick or treat. I just rolled my eyes at him. I have dressed up almost every year.
After Halloween comes Thanksgiving, who doesn't love all of that food. I love food and I love to be around family. I don't get to see my family very often so it is really nice to get together. Plus the Chiefs are playing the Broncos on Thanksgiving this year so that will be a very good day. My favorite thing about Thanksgiving is the day after though. For the past probably twelve years one of my Aunt's and I go shopping. It is a tradition now. We get up way before the sun comes up and go stand in line at whatever store has the best deal and we spend all day out shopping. All day. Its really great.
Then comes Christmas. I love Christmas. I love the memories of it I have from growing up and I can't wait to have my kids feel the same way as me. I always go overboard at Christmas time. I really do start out with good intentions to curb the spending but I just can't help it. I love giving presents. I have to find the perfect present for each person. I have already finished up half of my Christmas shopping. Only because I have some birthdays throw in the mix and that gets expensive.
Oh holidays here they come and I am so excited for them.
With Halloween quickly approaching I am thinking more and more about the holidays. We even tried to grow our own pumpkins this year. We got a few of them but we will still have to go out and buy some to carve. OH well it was fun. I have even had my house decorated for the past three weeks. E is going to be a cowgirl, I have found her almost everything for her costume. D and I will actually be going to a party this year so I need to come up with costumes for us. C says he is too big to dress up and trick or treat. I just rolled my eyes at him. I have dressed up almost every year.
After Halloween comes Thanksgiving, who doesn't love all of that food. I love food and I love to be around family. I don't get to see my family very often so it is really nice to get together. Plus the Chiefs are playing the Broncos on Thanksgiving this year so that will be a very good day. My favorite thing about Thanksgiving is the day after though. For the past probably twelve years one of my Aunt's and I go shopping. It is a tradition now. We get up way before the sun comes up and go stand in line at whatever store has the best deal and we spend all day out shopping. All day. Its really great.
Then comes Christmas. I love Christmas. I love the memories of it I have from growing up and I can't wait to have my kids feel the same way as me. I always go overboard at Christmas time. I really do start out with good intentions to curb the spending but I just can't help it. I love giving presents. I have to find the perfect present for each person. I have already finished up half of my Christmas shopping. Only because I have some birthdays throw in the mix and that gets expensive.
Oh holidays here they come and I am so excited for them.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Yummy
| You Are a Strawberry Margarita |
 You're so sweet it's a little overwhelming, and people are a little afraid of corrupting you... It's a little difficult to imagine you with a margarita. And you're truly a different person after you've kicked back a couple! |
Friday, September 15, 2006
Baby Blues
Well another week has gone by. They seem to go so slow but also so fast. Why do you think that is? D going to school three nights a week definitely makes the evenings seem slow. E and I have been going out every Wed night while he is gone. It is a lot of fun we go somewhere different each week, sometimes with other people and sometimes by ourselves.
This week we went out with a girlfriend of mine and her two kids. E had a blast being around the other kiddos. So much in fact that when I picked her up last night she cried because she wanted to go back and play with them some more. This just solidifies the fact that I really think she needs a sibling.
I hate, I mean hate the fact that she will be an only probably. I know she has a half brother but he doesn't live with us and they are so far apart in age. D is coming around to the idea of another. Which would be good news but the bad news is that we can't afford to have another right now. For one our house is not big enough. For two daycare is way too much money, I would be spending over 300 a week, yes you read that right, a WEEK on daycare for the two of them, Uh hello why even bother working. Oh yes I need to work to help pay the bills, but how can I pay bills when I have to spend that much on daycare. Well I guess that means we can't have another baby right now.
And that really sucks!
This week we went out with a girlfriend of mine and her two kids. E had a blast being around the other kiddos. So much in fact that when I picked her up last night she cried because she wanted to go back and play with them some more. This just solidifies the fact that I really think she needs a sibling.
I hate, I mean hate the fact that she will be an only probably. I know she has a half brother but he doesn't live with us and they are so far apart in age. D is coming around to the idea of another. Which would be good news but the bad news is that we can't afford to have another right now. For one our house is not big enough. For two daycare is way too much money, I would be spending over 300 a week, yes you read that right, a WEEK on daycare for the two of them, Uh hello why even bother working. Oh yes I need to work to help pay the bills, but how can I pay bills when I have to spend that much on daycare. Well I guess that means we can't have another baby right now.
And that really sucks!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
I Suck
Okay so I really suck at keeping up with this blog. Sigh. Sometimes I just feel like I really don't have much to say.
Last night E and I went out to eat together. It was nice she was really well behaved and we had fun. We went to the new dinosaur resturant she has been dying to go to. We only had to wait 15 minutes to get in so that was a plus.
At first she was in awe of everything then she started to get scared. There are huge animated dinosaurs everywhere and it is very loud. I was just hoping that she didn't have any bad dreams from it.
In other news potty training has started in our house. She started going poop in the potty over the weekend and hasn't looked back. The only thing stopping me from putting her in panties is the fact that she will still pee occasionally and the bad mommy that I am, I don't want to deal with the mess. We put up a chart and she get gummy bears every time she goes. Gosh what she will do for the gummy's.
This coming weekend D has a softball tournament on Saturday I need to decide if E and I will be going or not. I want to in a way but don't want to in another way. I am just kind of blah this week I guess.
Last night E and I went out to eat together. It was nice she was really well behaved and we had fun. We went to the new dinosaur resturant she has been dying to go to. We only had to wait 15 minutes to get in so that was a plus.
At first she was in awe of everything then she started to get scared. There are huge animated dinosaurs everywhere and it is very loud. I was just hoping that she didn't have any bad dreams from it.
In other news potty training has started in our house. She started going poop in the potty over the weekend and hasn't looked back. The only thing stopping me from putting her in panties is the fact that she will still pee occasionally and the bad mommy that I am, I don't want to deal with the mess. We put up a chart and she get gummy bears every time she goes. Gosh what she will do for the gummy's.
This coming weekend D has a softball tournament on Saturday I need to decide if E and I will be going or not. I want to in a way but don't want to in another way. I am just kind of blah this week I guess.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Bugs more precisely grasshoppers and crickets
The new fascination at our house is bugs. Not just any bug will do either. E loves the grasshoppers and crickets. Not because E is scared of them or wants to keep them as pets. No not my girl. She likes to find them to catch them to feed them to our fish.
A little background I guess is needed. We were at my dads earlier in the summer and D caught some really small fish, I mean really small fish. So we decided to take a few home and put them in our water garden pond. Two bass and one crappie.
Well these fish are rather picky, they refuse to eat the goldfish food. So we have spoiled them and had been going to Petsmart every weekend and buying them two dozen rosy red minnows to eat. At first we just let all the minnows go at once but after awhile that got boring so then we would put the bag on the top of the water and let it float around, but that had to stop because one of the fish figured out how to put a hole in the bag to get the minnows out.
Now we put the minnows in one at a time so we can watch the bass come to the top and eat the minnows. It takes less then a second and really all you can see is a cloud of iridescence from the scales of the minnows but we are slightly twisted people and get a big kick out of this.
So I digress, Petsmart is like a half hour away and was getting to be a pain to drive to if we didn't need to go anywhere else, she we started to look for a closer source for food for our spoiled fish. Well we hit the jackpot in our backyard. It seems that the grasshoppers really enjoy spending time in the kind of grass we have back there.
So now we have a nightly ritual of catching the bugs to feed to our fish. E has the best eye at spotting them. All of the sudden she will yell "Momma grass-hopper" and D will have to go over and try to catch it. Then we all make our way back to the front of the house to our water garden pond to watch him throw it in so we can watch the bass devour it instantly. This totally cracks E up, she absolutely loves it.
Oh the joy of being young.
A little background I guess is needed. We were at my dads earlier in the summer and D caught some really small fish, I mean really small fish. So we decided to take a few home and put them in our water garden pond. Two bass and one crappie.
Well these fish are rather picky, they refuse to eat the goldfish food. So we have spoiled them and had been going to Petsmart every weekend and buying them two dozen rosy red minnows to eat. At first we just let all the minnows go at once but after awhile that got boring so then we would put the bag on the top of the water and let it float around, but that had to stop because one of the fish figured out how to put a hole in the bag to get the minnows out.
Now we put the minnows in one at a time so we can watch the bass come to the top and eat the minnows. It takes less then a second and really all you can see is a cloud of iridescence from the scales of the minnows but we are slightly twisted people and get a big kick out of this.
So I digress, Petsmart is like a half hour away and was getting to be a pain to drive to if we didn't need to go anywhere else, she we started to look for a closer source for food for our spoiled fish. Well we hit the jackpot in our backyard. It seems that the grasshoppers really enjoy spending time in the kind of grass we have back there.
So now we have a nightly ritual of catching the bugs to feed to our fish. E has the best eye at spotting them. All of the sudden she will yell "Momma grass-hopper" and D will have to go over and try to catch it. Then we all make our way back to the front of the house to our water garden pond to watch him throw it in so we can watch the bass devour it instantly. This totally cracks E up, she absolutely loves it.
Oh the joy of being young.
Friday
Oh I am so tired today. I went out after work last night to a going away party for a guy moving to Arkansas. I only had one drink but I stayed there until 8:30 which meant I didn't get home until after nine. So it was 10:30 before I got to bed and then I was rudely woken up by a yucky storm at 12:30. Then D gets up to get ready for work at 4:00 so I guess you can see the pattern here.
It is so nice to spend the evening in the company of adults. Its been awhile since I have done that. I have the utmost respect for stay at home moms. Sometimes I don't know how they don't go crazy. While I would love to stay at home, I think that working makes me a better mom. It makes me step back and when E gets particularly trying I have a little bit more patience and a lot more love cause I miss her so much and cherish the time we do get to spend together.
So this makes her a little spoiled. I can't help it. If she is going to be my only baby the world will be hers, that's what I go to work for right.
My niece started kindergarten yesterday and I almost cried looking at her pictures, I was there when she was born I can't believe she has grown up so much already. Her birthday is next week and she will be turning six. Where did the time go?
It is so nice to spend the evening in the company of adults. Its been awhile since I have done that. I have the utmost respect for stay at home moms. Sometimes I don't know how they don't go crazy. While I would love to stay at home, I think that working makes me a better mom. It makes me step back and when E gets particularly trying I have a little bit more patience and a lot more love cause I miss her so much and cherish the time we do get to spend together.
So this makes her a little spoiled. I can't help it. If she is going to be my only baby the world will be hers, that's what I go to work for right.
My niece started kindergarten yesterday and I almost cried looking at her pictures, I was there when she was born I can't believe she has grown up so much already. Her birthday is next week and she will be turning six. Where did the time go?
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Updates
Gosh its hard to believe that's its been a month since I posted. What really sucks is that our computer at home died and unless we can get someone that can fix it cheap I don't see us having another one for awhile. Oh well I can always sneak on at work.
Sometimes I don't know why I find my life boring, it seems as if we are always doing something.
Last week my grandpa (my moms dad) passed away. He had congestive heart failure for awhile so it wasn't totally a surprise but I don't think anyone expected it when it happened. So we spent last week doing funeral kinds of things. The nice thing was that I got to see one of my favorite cousins that I hadn't seen in like 12 years. Its kind of sad that we don't make more of an effort to see family except for situations like that. But when airfare to Florida for a family a four is so expensive what else can you do.
The funeral went very well, we had some reservations about it, my mom has seven brothers and sisters that do not get along very well so we were waiting for a big blow out. But everyone behaved themselves. The priest did a wonderful job and the service was sad but also beautiful. I was very glad that I had Doug there to comfort me. I also had a very good friend since the first grade come which was very nice.
My work even sent a beautiful peace lily plant both my mom and I were very touched by that. After all is said and done I am hoping that this experience will help my mom to realize that she needs to be a little bit closer to my family and to my kids. I really hope she starts to take interest and see us more often. Doug keeps telling me not to get my hopes up and he is probably right. I am probably just setting myself up for disappointment, but you never know.
Sometimes I don't know why I find my life boring, it seems as if we are always doing something.
Last week my grandpa (my moms dad) passed away. He had congestive heart failure for awhile so it wasn't totally a surprise but I don't think anyone expected it when it happened. So we spent last week doing funeral kinds of things. The nice thing was that I got to see one of my favorite cousins that I hadn't seen in like 12 years. Its kind of sad that we don't make more of an effort to see family except for situations like that. But when airfare to Florida for a family a four is so expensive what else can you do.
The funeral went very well, we had some reservations about it, my mom has seven brothers and sisters that do not get along very well so we were waiting for a big blow out. But everyone behaved themselves. The priest did a wonderful job and the service was sad but also beautiful. I was very glad that I had Doug there to comfort me. I also had a very good friend since the first grade come which was very nice.
My work even sent a beautiful peace lily plant both my mom and I were very touched by that. After all is said and done I am hoping that this experience will help my mom to realize that she needs to be a little bit closer to my family and to my kids. I really hope she starts to take interest and see us more often. Doug keeps telling me not to get my hopes up and he is probably right. I am probably just setting myself up for disappointment, but you never know.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Mothers and Daughters
Ever since I had my beautiful daughter, I have been thinking a lot about the relationships between mothers and daughters. Or I guess more precisely my relationship with my mother. I have never been very close to my mother. I guess mainly because my view on the world and her view on the world is different but she doesn't like to admit that people may have different opinions than she does.
What makes me sad is that I can never remember a time in my life where I was physically loved. I know that she loves me, unconditionally, but I can not remember a time where I have been hugged or kissed or even told that she loved me. I am sure that she probably did when I was younger. I mean how can you resist kissing on a sweet babies feet or smothering a toddler in kisses.
Maybe she is just not one to express her emotions like that. When I met my husband and started being around his family it was very difficult for me at first. They are a very expressive loving family. Everyone always hugging each other. My husband is the same way with me very loving and it really took some time to get used to.
I really hope that I am not like my mother. I try to show my affection to my daughter all of the time, since I am aware of it I hope things continue to be that way. I want her to feel comfortable to come up and give me a great big hug and kiss when she is a teenager. I want for us to have a great relationship. I want to be open with her and have her be open with me.
I am realistic, I know that certain times she will not like me very much. I know that she will be sneaky and naughty, but I hope that I will not turn into my mother, as much as I love her I sure don't want to turn into her, but I would love it for my daughter to turn into me.
What makes me sad is that I can never remember a time in my life where I was physically loved. I know that she loves me, unconditionally, but I can not remember a time where I have been hugged or kissed or even told that she loved me. I am sure that she probably did when I was younger. I mean how can you resist kissing on a sweet babies feet or smothering a toddler in kisses.
Maybe she is just not one to express her emotions like that. When I met my husband and started being around his family it was very difficult for me at first. They are a very expressive loving family. Everyone always hugging each other. My husband is the same way with me very loving and it really took some time to get used to.
I really hope that I am not like my mother. I try to show my affection to my daughter all of the time, since I am aware of it I hope things continue to be that way. I want her to feel comfortable to come up and give me a great big hug and kiss when she is a teenager. I want for us to have a great relationship. I want to be open with her and have her be open with me.
I am realistic, I know that certain times she will not like me very much. I know that she will be sneaky and naughty, but I hope that I will not turn into my mother, as much as I love her I sure don't want to turn into her, but I would love it for my daughter to turn into me.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Fate and Destiny
Are our lives determined by destiny? Is every detail of our lives already mapped out for us? Sometimes I think yes then other times I think no. Pretty wishy washy huh. I believe that certain factors in our lives are fate but we can in some ways shape our destiny.
I believe I was destined to meet my husband when I did. I had a rather loser of a boyfriend from my senior year of high school for about five years. I really liked him at first and we did have a sweet kind of high school relationship. But after awhile things changed, we both changed, matured. He drank a lot, which always bothered me a little bit, he was never violent with me or verbally abusive but he was never really nice either. After awhile I think that my confidence started to falter and I stayed because I didn't think I could get anyone else. Anyways after I started watching all of my close friends get married, I thought what am I doing? I don't want this for the rest of life. I ended things and with the help of some good friends I didn't feel sorry for myself at all.
My friend and I decided to go camping and invited her boyfriend and one of his friends. I was not looking for a relationship at all, I had only been single again for a few months. But during our trip and the month after it I knew that he would be the only that I married. When we talked about our lives there were so many times that our paths had crossed when we had not noticed each other. I like to say fate brought us together at that time because we were both ready for each other then and only then not before.
Sometimes I step back and look at my life now and can't believe how much I have. I have a wonderful husband, a great step son and a beautiful daughter. I couldn't have asked for a better destiny.
I believe I was destined to meet my husband when I did. I had a rather loser of a boyfriend from my senior year of high school for about five years. I really liked him at first and we did have a sweet kind of high school relationship. But after awhile things changed, we both changed, matured. He drank a lot, which always bothered me a little bit, he was never violent with me or verbally abusive but he was never really nice either. After awhile I think that my confidence started to falter and I stayed because I didn't think I could get anyone else. Anyways after I started watching all of my close friends get married, I thought what am I doing? I don't want this for the rest of life. I ended things and with the help of some good friends I didn't feel sorry for myself at all.
My friend and I decided to go camping and invited her boyfriend and one of his friends. I was not looking for a relationship at all, I had only been single again for a few months. But during our trip and the month after it I knew that he would be the only that I married. When we talked about our lives there were so many times that our paths had crossed when we had not noticed each other. I like to say fate brought us together at that time because we were both ready for each other then and only then not before.
Sometimes I step back and look at my life now and can't believe how much I have. I have a wonderful husband, a great step son and a beautiful daughter. I couldn't have asked for a better destiny.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Vent
Okay so my vent for the day is people who do not RSVP. I arranged a baby shower for one of my friends and invited our Bunco group. I mailed out invites with an RSVP on them with my phone #. Only a few people called. Well we had to cancel that shower because she went into preterm labor and got put on bedrest. Fast forward to last week we decided to go ahead and do the shower at her house last night. I sent out an email to everyone and again only a few people responded. What the hell, people are so fucking rude. So it ended up just being three of us but we went out to eat and had a great time. I just can not believe how rude some people are. I will not forgot that and it may seem petty of me to be that way but whatever. I always call and let people know just because I know how hard it is and how much money it costs to put something like that on and when you don't know how many people to plan for it really sucks. But one good thing came of it, one of my friends invited me to join her book club. I have always wanted to be in a book club so this weekend I am going to go get the book they are on right now.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
My Big Girl
Well I guess she is really not that big of a girl yet but to a mommy who doesn't want her to grow up so fast she is. It still amazes me that two summers ago she was still cooking in my belly, gosh how time flies. She is now 2-1/2 and thinks she is 12. Our current dilemma is what to do about her bed. She is still in her crib. She loves it. She does not try to climb out of it and she still sleeps relatively good in it. So what's the problem you may ask? Well she is starting to outgrow it. So I guess we need to move her into a big girl bed. Gosh I am so not ready for that to happen. Sniff Sniff.
I think we are just going to buy her a twin bed instead of a toddler bed and get rails to put on the sides until she gets used to it. Unfortunately she does not want a new bed. I am really not looking forward to the fight she will put up on this. I just hope that D will be home every night so he can deal with her, he is a lot more patient than I am.
I think we are just going to buy her a twin bed instead of a toddler bed and get rails to put on the sides until she gets used to it. Unfortunately she does not want a new bed. I am really not looking forward to the fight she will put up on this. I just hope that D will be home every night so he can deal with her, he is a lot more patient than I am.
Welcome
Wow, I have finally taken the plunge and joined the ever growing list of bloggers. It will definitely be nice to have an outlet to say whatever I am feeling at the time. Thanks to my friend S for showing me her secret blog and getting me interested in doing one of my own.
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