Monday, July 10, 2006

Mothers and Daughters

Ever since I had my beautiful daughter, I have been thinking a lot about the relationships between mothers and daughters. Or I guess more precisely my relationship with my mother. I have never been very close to my mother. I guess mainly because my view on the world and her view on the world is different but she doesn't like to admit that people may have different opinions than she does.

What makes me sad is that I can never remember a time in my life where I was physically loved. I know that she loves me, unconditionally, but I can not remember a time where I have been hugged or kissed or even told that she loved me. I am sure that she probably did when I was younger. I mean how can you resist kissing on a sweet babies feet or smothering a toddler in kisses.

Maybe she is just not one to express her emotions like that. When I met my husband and started being around his family it was very difficult for me at first. They are a very expressive loving family. Everyone always hugging each other. My husband is the same way with me very loving and it really took some time to get used to.

I really hope that I am not like my mother. I try to show my affection to my daughter all of the time, since I am aware of it I hope things continue to be that way. I want her to feel comfortable to come up and give me a great big hug and kiss when she is a teenager. I want for us to have a great relationship. I want to be open with her and have her be open with me.

I am realistic, I know that certain times she will not like me very much. I know that she will be sneaky and naughty, but I hope that I will not turn into my mother, as much as I love her I sure don't want to turn into her, but I would love it for my daughter to turn into me.